Part 5 – our new beginning

 

In the summer of 2016, we went on holiday and talk of another baby came up again, we had toyed with the idea since having Kaeden and we upsettingly went through another miscarriage when he was 3. So, thinking about it again was always filled with both excitement and fear. Though we decided if I wasn’t pregnant within 6 months then that would be it. 

 

Two months later I was holding a positive pregnancy test, baby number 5 was on their way. The early weeks were spent in trepidation until we got the news that we were carrying a healthy baby at 12 weeks. We took the boys for our gender scan, this time around I was convinced another boy was on his way, I was to be right and the look on Kaeden’s face just filled my heart with joy.

Part 4 - new house-new baby

 

We settled in our new house in September 2009, getting used to living together again as a family, we had more room and we made the boy's rooms special getting bunk beds for the younger two. Reagan and Dylan would often climb into my bed and Reagan was still not the best sleeper though when we moved house they settled so well in their own room and the wakeups became non-existent.

 

We were both working with me still at the nursery and the boys were at school and we made time for fun times at the weekend and holidays. We were content with our family life, new years came, and I didn’t sit in tears making empty resolutions, instead, I was excited for the year ahead. I was planning on doing my degree and I was so excited! By the end of  January, I felt awful though, and I just knew I was pregnant. Eek, we had just got used to things how they were, would things go back to being awful again?`

Part 3 - Surprise Number 3

New Year’s Day 2004 arrived, we hadn’t celebrated it as I was too tired and had fallen asleep only to be woken again at around 2am. I took Reagan downstairs, this was the norm these days spending the early hours together, trying to sleep, rocking and pacing the living room carpet as to not wake everyone else. 

I was broken, crying and thinking of the prospect of a new year in the same routine, exhausted, working and just being mum. It was the new year, the day for new resolutions, I vowed to do better, I was beginning to question our relationship, I was pushing Marc away and I resented him that his life hadn’t seemed to change. He was able to go to work and go and play football at the weekends, meet his mates in the pub afterwards. What did I do? 

Part 2 - why am I not enough for him?

Becoming pregnant again wasn’t to be so easy, we went through the heartbreak of miscarriage and although very early they were still a part of me. So, when I became pregnant with my second son, I was terrified, it wasn’t the best pregnancy it was so different from my first, I had hardly any symptoms with Connor but this time around was hard. 

I spent much of the pregnancy being sick, I was regularly monitored for bleeding which was unexplained. I had a constant fear that something bad was going to happen, though again I didn’t tell anyone how I was feeling. As my bump grew, I developed synthesis pubis dysfunction (SPD), which is a condition that causes pelvic pain as the ligaments become too soft. 

Part 1 - Becoming a mummy 

 

Becoming a mummy at 19 was definitely not in the plan I had so carefully drawn out for my future. I was supposed to be going to university, travel the world, get married at 28 and have a baby at 30. Yes, I was a bit of a planner back then and this is how I envisioned my future, it was supposed to be that way! However, things didn’t go to plan

 

I met my now husband at 17 and though we loved each other a baby was not on the agenda. Finding out I was pregnant was a shock, how on earth was I going to tell my mum? What would people think? I couldn’t face telling my mum, so Marc came with me to break the news. Thankfully my mum was supportive but would be shocked with our decision to move down South.

Sweet Beginnings Babycare

 Claire is based in Maidstone, Kent and her sleep consultancy, baby massage and baby yoga classes offer a nurturing space for mum and baby to relax, recharge and connect. Claire has an extensive background in childhood studies and baby care. 

 

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