Part 2 - why am I not enough for him?

Becoming pregnant again wasn’t to be so easy, we went through the heartbreak of miscarriage and although very early they were still a part of me. So, when I became pregnant with my second son, I was terrified, it wasn’t the best pregnancy it was so different from my first, I had hardly any symptoms with Connor but this time around was hard. 

I spent much of the pregnancy being sick, I was regularly monitored for bleeding which was unexplained. I had a constant fear that something bad was going to happen, though again I didn’t tell anyone how I was feeling. As my bump grew, I developed synthesis pubis dysfunction (SPD), which is a condition that causes pelvic pain as the ligaments become too soft. 

Part 1 - Becoming a mummy 

 

Becoming a mummy at 19 was definitely not in the plan I had so carefully drawn out for my future. I was supposed to be going to university, travel the world, get married at 28 and have a baby at 30. Yes, I was a bit of a planner back then and this is how I envisioned my future, it was supposed to be that way! However, things didn’t go to plan

 

I met my now husband at 17 and though we loved each other a baby was not on the agenda. Finding out I was pregnant was a shock, how on earth was I going to tell my mum? What would people think? I couldn’t face telling my mum, so Marc came with me to break the news. Thankfully my mum was supportive but would be shocked with our decision to move down South.

You are four months in with your new baby, you are now adjusting to parenthood and your baby may be in a lovely routine. Yay, you have this parenting thing down! 

But then the four-month regression hits and you notice big changes with your baby’s behaviour, feed and sleep patterns. Baby may now be:

  • Taking less interest in their feeds particularly during the day
  • Needs more feeds during the night
  • Is frequently unsettled and is needing lots more cuddles and support
  • May be more difficult to settle for their naps and at bedtime
  • May be waking in the night more frequently at night and difficult to settle back to sleep 

If this sounds like your baby then welcome to the four month regression, though I promise you these changes are perfectly normal. You may be wandering why your once settled baby is now inconsolable or why your once hungry baby is not feeding so much. You may be blaming yourself, thinking you have done something wrong yourself. You may have heard about the dreaded four month regression and are full of anxiety about it. Please let me reassure you this stage is perfectly normal and of course, you have not broken your baby. 

A lot of us are guilty of not prioritising our own sleep and our well-being as a whole. Self -care ends up at the bottom of the list, I know it is for me with juggling work, my boys and running the house. I sometimes need that reminder that I am important too.

When we become new parents, we tend to prioritise our baby’s needs, which of course we need to do as they are heavily reliant on us to meet their needs. However, in order for us to care for our baby’s needs we do need to look after ourselves too, even more so with the lack of sleep.

Sleep deprivation is hard, and no amount of baby prepping can prepare you for this, it is different for everyone and of course, everyone has differing levels of sleep needs. However, if you previously loved those lie-ins and loved your 8 hours then been woken by a tiny baby is going to be difficult.

 

Here are a few tips to help you cope with sleep deprivation

When families prepare for the arrival of their new-born baby, there is so much excitement. Lots of advice is given to the parents-to-be but colic is never mentioned. 

 

Who wants to contemplate having an inconsolable baby for hours on end? Caring for a colicky baby is a whole new kind of nightmare but it is a reality that affects over 25% of babies, globally. There are families everywhere in the midst of colic hell, feeling isolated and trying to navigate through this difficult time, hoping for a shining light at the end of the colic tunnel.

 

What is colic?

Colic is clinically diagnosed for a baby that is crying for more than three hours, three days a week, for a three-week period, but is otherwise healthy and gaining weight. It can strike between the ages of three weeks to six weeks old but sometimes it can be earlier or even later. The timing of when colic symptoms appear is usually down to what is really causing your baby’s misery.

 

The term ‘colic’ is used as a sweeping diagnosis to cover various reasons as to why your baby is crying. Once you know the root cause of your baby’s distress then you are more likely to be in a position to help.

 

Let’s have a look at two of the main causes of colic, shall we?

Sweet Beginnings Babycare

 Claire is based in Maidstone, Kent and her sleep consultancy, baby massage and baby yoga classes offer a nurturing space for mum and baby to relax, recharge and connect. Claire has an extensive background in childhood studies and baby care. 

 

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